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Overheard in Rhode Island
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Overheard in Rhode Island's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, June 9th, 2009
12:15 am
[jwgh]
at the Everyman Bistro open mike
"So where do you get fake mustaches in bulk, anyway?"
Tuesday, February 10th, 2009
11:23 pm
[jwgh]
Stuck in the past
"It's so cold out, Michael Jackson had to find his other glove." -- dude at the 7-11 on Broad Street. His buddies thought it was hilarious.

(Also it was 38 degrees out.)
Monday, September 29th, 2008
9:12 am
[sam_ri]
office chat
associate 1: and where is the client at right now?
associate 2: Dubai
associate 1: is that a country?
Thursday, September 18th, 2008
9:03 am
[carpe_d1em]
"So you're saying I can have anal sex and still remain a virgin for marriage???"


Overheard on Thayer.
Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
1:33 pm
[jwgh]
at the Elmwood post office
Customer: "I'd like a sheet of the baseball stamps."

Postal Worker #1: "I'm sorry, we're out of baseball stamps."

Customer: "Oh, OK. How about the breast cancer stamps?"

Postal Worker #1: "No, we're out of those too."

Postal Worker #2: "Wait! I have breast cancer!"
Wednesday, January 30th, 2008
2:09 am
[jwgh]
at supercuts on thayer
Hairdresser #1: I just wish she wasn't so menopausal!
Hairdresser #2: (attempts unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh)
Hairdresser #1: What? She's like 27!
Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
3:18 pm
[jwgh]
In the Brooks Pharmacy at the corner of Broad and Public Streets in Providence
Woman: "I won $50,000 last month -- Powerball. I was one number off from the jackpot. But it's all gone now."
Cashier: "Uh ... Well, if that happened to me, it wouldn't be gone. I'd still have some."
Woman: "No, it just slips away from you. I got $6000 just in tickets, getting pulled over all the time."
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007
1:44 pm
[jwgh]
So noted.
"Don't ever use Nair. It's scary, and you can't sit down for a week." -- dude on Wickenden street
Thursday, June 7th, 2007
12:59 am
[jwgh]
Sue Cupid, Hard-Boiled Yenta
"When he gets here, you'd fucking better run up to him and give him a fucking hug and kiss or I'll fucking kick your ass."

- one woman to another on Empire Street in Providence
Friday, May 18th, 2007
1:05 am
[jwgh]
at Nick-a-Nees at 12:30 am
College student: What kind of dog is that?
Older dude: It's a Canadian Tavern Spaniel.
Thursday, March 22nd, 2007
1:42 pm
[jwgh]
at Olga's in Providence
"Yeah, like the bees' lives were going to be so great otherwise."
Sunday, February 18th, 2007
12:55 am
[jwgh]
at East Side Marketplace in Providence
Woman at checkout counter: (taking things out of her cart) ... and put the bread on top, and put the bologna on top, and put the steak on top, and ...

Cashier: Wait a minute. How can I put everything on top?

[There is a brief pause.]

Woman at checkout counter: Use two bags.
Wednesday, January 10th, 2007
4:00 pm
[jwgh]
at the Brooks Pharmacy on Broad Street in Providence
Dude #1: "Ah, here it is -- Red Bull."

Dude #2: (suspiciously) "Are you sure this stuff gives you wings?"
Monday, October 2nd, 2006
10:43 pm
[jwgh]
guy near the river in Providence
"So we said, 'Why did you steal the capers?' And he was was like, "No! I didn't steal the capers!' And he's holding the jar of capers over his head!"
Saturday, September 30th, 2006
12:23 pm
[katrinkles]
at the 501 restaurant in portsmouth. . .
"she's so tan i could just pinch huh"
Thursday, September 28th, 2006
10:14 pm
[jwgh]
guy at Reflections
"STOP BEING A LESBIAN!"
Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
12:38 am
[nervousmotion]
I always get in trouble on Craigslist.
I don't know if this counts as "overheard," but um... yeah. Craigslist.

I need a woodworker who can create a coffin for me.

Does he mean "for me" like he'll be the one residing in the coffin, or just for his use to, er, put someone else in? I want answers.
Monday, September 18th, 2006
11:43 pm
[jwgh]
"I want to start a blog. I'm really pissed right now."
-- guy at Kabob & Curry in Providence
Tuesday, September 12th, 2006
2:04 pm
[jwgh]
at the Spike's on Thayer Street
Guy: "Excuse me, sir, if you don't mind me asking, what's that little thing next to your radio?"

Brown University cop: "Can't tell you -- I'm at lunch."
Sunday, September 10th, 2006
12:07 am
[jwgh]
on Daboll Street around midnight
Man: "What are you gonna do, fight or run?"

Woman: "Run!"
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